TRACK LISTING
1. Status Unknown (4:03)
2. I Wanted You (3:44)
3. Beat It (2:34)
4. Cuddle Party (4:11)
5. Now I Am A Man (3:16)
6. Meaningless (6:52)
7. Pleasant Under Glass (3:26)
8. Sideless World (3:31)
9. My Good Twin (2:15)
10. Scales (4:23)
11. Under The Overpass (4:55)
12. Worship Song (4:53)
13. Graveyard Shift (3:56)
Words and music ©2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Written 1991-2008.
Dolph Chaney: Vocals, guitars, bass.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Lindsay Murray: Backing vocals (track 5).
Kevin Robertson & Scott Robertson: Backing vocals (track 7).
Produced and mixed by Nick Bertling at bertling noise laboratories.
Recorded July 15 - October 31, 2020, engineered by the participants.
Except vocals / guitars on track 8 - recorded fall 1993, engineered by Mike Switzer.
Mastered by Ronni Santmyer at Big Bang Audio.
Photography by Kerry Hill.
Graphic design and layout by Lindsay Murray.
© 2021 Dolph Chaney.
℗ 2021 Big Stir Records.
THANK YOU
To Nick Bertling, for bringing these songs his vision and the ability to execute it. Thank you for playing like a beast/wizard, seeing and hearing what I couldn’t, and making it all mad fun!
To Lindsay Murray, for her gift of sound AND vision.
To Kevin & Scott Robertson, for abundant Aberdeen ahhs and oohs.
To Ronni Santmyer, for making our audio painting photorealistic.
To Big Stir Records -- Rex Broome, Christina Bulbenko, Irene Peña, Doug McGuire, Ridley Broome, Champniss of London, and all my amazing labelmates.
To my other collaborators and guests over the past 3 years on this album and prior -- Milk Arnold, Jim LeFager, Clayton Melocik, Ryan O’Malley, Michael Simmons, Steven Eric WIlson, and Mike Young.
To supporters in word, in broadcast, and in subsidization:
Webcasts: Woody Remote; Folk You with Larry O. Dean; Social Distancing Variety Hour with Adam Holquist; The Power Pop Shoppe with DJ Gil
Internet Radio: Gidget Bates / Boris Boden / Mike Lidskin / Adam Waltemire / Rick Warhall / Mike DeAngelis (woodyradio.com); Jim Prell (themusicauthority.transistor.fm), John Armstrong (madwaspradio.com); Conrad Callan (mixlr.com/conradio); Fran Fried (cygnusradio.com); Mitch & Mark (neighborhoodweeklyradio.com); Beth Dobson (indieloungeradio.com); Alice Peters-Burns (novumfm.de); Pacopepe Gil (plasticoelastico.es); Wayne Lundqvist Ford (icecreammanpowerpop1967.podomatic.com); Scott Hudson (LIVE LEDGE - scotthudson.blogspot.com); Ronnie Carnwath (cobwebsandstrange.weebly.com); Kathy Barham (Music Truffler - mixcloud.com/radioclwyd); Curt Vance (power-pop-overdose.simplecast.com); Chris Hyde (soundofspitfire.co.uk); Radio Kaos Caribou (radiokc.fm)
FM Radio: Mike Bennett / Nicole Oppenheim / Tyler Green, CHIRP (Chicago, IL); DJ Gil, WNUR-FM (Chicago, IL); Robert Kreutzer, KUCR-FM (Riverside, CA); Barry Lee, KKFI-FM (Kansas City, MO); Chip Saam, 89.3 WHFR-FM (Dearborn, MI); Carl Cafarelli & Dana Bonn, WSPJ-FM (Syracuse, NY); Art Jipson, WUDR-FM (Dayton, OH); Patrick Keenan, KOPN-FM (Columbia, MO); Ken Yates, COAST-FM 963 (Gosford, NSW, Australia); Steve Kirkland, CKCU-FM (Ottawa, ON, CA)
Press: Don W. Seven (babysue); Kevin Burke (The Big Takeover); Don Valentine (I Don’t Hear A Single); dw. Dunphy (MusicTAP); Ian Canty (Louder Than War UK); Bertrand Tappaz (Abus Dangereux / Voix de Garage Grenoble FR); Tim Hinely (Dagger ‘Zine); Andrew Young (Terrascope UK); John Borack (Goldmine); Dave Franklin (Dancing About Architecture UK); Patrick Donders (Sweet Sweet Music NL); Julie Fowler (Colours Through The Air); Beverly Paterson (Pop-A-Looza); Andrea Weiss (All Around Records); Dennis Pilon (Pop Rock Record); Aaron Kupferburg (Powerpopaholic)
To Kerry Hill, who stole my soul for the album photography to complete her collection, as she stole my heart 15 years ago.
And thanks to you for listening. Your hair is perfect.
LYRICS:
Status Unknown
what do I say
when I don’t know what I’m asking for and
where do I go when I do
where can I stay
if there really is no 13th floor and
what do I know about you
because your cover isn’t all that’s blown
status unknown
was it my fault
if the earthquake didn’t register and
where do I sit and not blend
please pass the salt
but please do not pass the edgy slur and
who gives a shit in the end
because this bird isn’t all that’s flown
status unknown
I deny it categorically
I avoid it matadorically
but this bull won’t leave me alone
status unknown
who filled the tank
and why does it smell so sickly sweet and
which of you finished the wine
who robbed the bank
of the river under ebbing feet and
can I begin saving time
because these stars are not all that shone
status unknown
Written September 29, 2003.
© 2003, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, acoustic guitars, e-bow, ambient chime guitar.
Nick Bertling: Drums, lead guitar, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
I Wanted You
I wanted you to steal my heart
but you put it on layaway
I wanted an installment plan
but you got me to pay and pay
I wanted you to hold me close
but you'd smile and then stay away
And somehow still I wanted you
You wanted my affection
I wanted you
You laughed at my erection
I wanted you
You regalized rejection
I wanted you
I can't believe I wanted you
I wanted you to show your smile
but you'd much rather bare your fangs
I wanted to take you to dinner
-- you left me with hunger pangs
I wanted you to see my face
but you covered it up with bangs
And somehow still I wanted you
You wanted my convenience
I wanted you
You wanted my obedience
I wanted you
You exploited my lenience
I wanted you
I can't believe I wanted you
As for me,
I wanted to be
somebody you'd believe in
But it's clear
that, blinded by fear,
I chose not to hear
the signals I was receivin'
I wanted you to tell me why
but you just said 'that's it, that's all'
I wanted just another try,
but you foresaw an overhaul
I wanted you, but you said I
was just too soft to play hardball
with you -- yet still I wanted you.
You wanted my compliance
I wanted you
You wanted no defiance
I wanted you
You wanted an appliance
I wanted you
I can't believe I wanted you
I've been weighed
I've been measured
I've been found wanting you
Written August 2, 2006.
© 2006, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Beat It
I don't feel as far away from you
as you say you feel from me,
and I wonder why the distances between
have no equality.
If a train leaves your side at 100 mph,
how fast do I have to run to meet it?
And if it turns and chases me down,
can I beat it?
I want to be starting something fresh,
but somebody's watching me
like a super-freak-show on the dance floor, I
spin me 'round like a CD.
I'm the train, c'mon and ride it 100 mph
The 2 of hearts was winning, but you cheated
and you dropped a bomb on me and let it whip
when you said "beat it."
Written January 29, 2008.
© 2008, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, guitars.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Cuddle Party
I come home late, the lights are low
and my spirits are low too
A giggle-hitch - I hit the switch,
and there in PJs I find you…
and everyone else we know!
And you say
“I just wanna hold you… and your friend
‘cause it hurts so much and I just need to pretend
I just wanna hold you and your friend
‘cause it's been so long and I don't wanna reach the end”
I settle down and cuddle up
tension steams out of my mind
we're rubbing socks - this feeling rocks!
Peace with you is what I find,
like everyone else we know
And I say
“I just wanna hold you… and your friend
‘cause it hurts so much and I just need to pretend
I just wanna hold you and your friend
‘cause it's been so long and I don't wanna reach the end”
But it’s just a dream, I know
The distance will only grow
The mask is what keeps me whole
The loneliness breaks my soul
But I say
“I just wanna hold you… and your friend
‘cause it hurts so much and I just need to pretend
I just wanna hold you and your friend
‘cause it's been so long and I don't wanna reach the end”
“I just wanna hold you… and your friend
‘cause it hurts so much and I just need to pretend
I just wanna hold you and your friend
‘cause it's been so long and I don't wanna reach the end”
Written October 21, 2004 and October 24, 2020.
© 2004, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, guitars.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Now I Am A Man
When Jesus was my age,
they nailed Him up in rage,
but I bet they'd just let me slide.
I started out lofty
but wound up a softie --
I'd melt away if crucified.
Lengthening in the tooth,
Brushed off angry youth:
Now I am a man
I just had my first prostate exam
and it brought a tear to my eye
Now I am a man
If they said I got with the program,
I'd probably grunt in reply
Now I am a man
But am I man enough for you?
It's a long way from punk rock
to piles of doppelbock
but I guess I'm earning my keep.
I even like football --
I follow the playcall,
no laughing or falling asleep.
Age numbers past my prime,
rib me one more time:
Now I am a man
I just plucked a grey hair from my ear
and it brought a tear to my eye
Now I am a man
Not a king like Ali in Zaire,
more grilled up like Foreman, I fry.
Now I am a man
But am I man enough for you?
'Cause you're a full-on woman with a soul aflame
But the longer I run I only get more lame
Can I dare to dream our love will stay the same?
You help me believe I can
And now I am a man.
Now I am a man
I just got me a vasectomy
And it brought a tear to my eye
Now I am a man
Say goodbye to one aspect of me
But hello to life going by
Now I am a man --
you say I'm man enough for you.
Written February 10, 2007, and September 1, 2008.
© 2007, 2008, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, guitar.
Lindsay Murray: Backing vocals.
Nick Bertling: Drums, lead guitar, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Meaningless
It’s a race without a course
It’s a will without a force
Like the dew before the dawn
Can’t we just keep hanging on and on and on?
Let me hide inside my shell
Leave me to my private cell
Let me shrink to nothingness
I just want to be meaningless
Strip me down from flesh to bone
Tear away til it’s all undone
Rid me of this artifice
Leave me only the truth in all of this
Let me hide inside my shell
Leave me to my private cell
Let me shrink to nothingness
I just want to be meaningless
Trembling here, my soul will wait
Free of all the fear and the hate
Longing only for a touch
I’ve kept this all inside too much
Let me hide inside my shell
Leave me to my private cell
Let me shrink to nothingness
I just want to be meaningless
Written July 1992.
© 1992, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, acoustic guitars, lead guitar.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion.
Pleasant Under Glass
This view is getting too familiar
I’m in this dome and I won’t be getting out until your
Insatiable fork is my divisor
Am I your meal, or am I just another appetizer?
Every night I wait
With all my ever-present schemes of hate
The fruitless hours pass
Oh, life is never pleasant under glass
You’re trying to lock in all the passion
But you don’t know about the dreams of happiness you’re smashin’
Your greed’s derailing my desires
You’re blowing out the candles and you’re blowing out my tires
Every night I wait
And, like a clever peasant, contemplate
The fruitless hours pass
Oh, life is never pleasant under glass
You take my breath away
But I feel like death today
Let me make one request:
Please let me get some rest
You’re looking at me like I’m misguided
But what’s the use of love if give-and-take is all one-sided?
It’s not that I don’t want your attention;
I just need a little breathing room to ease the tension
You understand me now
And you were getting tired anyhow
So into sleep we pass
Oh, life’s become more pleasant under glass
Written September 1993.
© 1993, 2020 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, acoustic and electric guitars, bass.
Kevin Robertson & Scott Robertson: Backing vocals.
Nick Bertling: Drums, keyboards, percussion.Sideless World
My mind is diving
I break the surface
Never arriving
...Focus on the purpose
Tension bows before its maker
And flows away in shame
Nerves returning to their homes
Feel my skin fill up
With gently rolling waves of quiet
I see a sideless world
I keep descending
But now through earth
Layers unending
...focus on rebirth
Hopelessness yields itself to reason
And takes a holiday
Nerves returning to their homes
Send the past away
As ripples in the soil unfold me
I see a sideless world
Written May 6, 1993.
© 1993, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, acoustic and electric guitars.
Nick Bertling: Keyboards.
My Good Twin
He’s shaven clean; I have to wear the goatee
I like “Behind Blue Eyes” but he likes “I’m Free”
And whatever he does, they blame it on me
What’s so good about my good twin?
What’s so good about my good twin?
What’s so good about my good twin?
And what’s so bad about me?
While I sit back and dream of traffic and plague,
he goes gladhanding from Hanoi to the Hague –
how can the world believe that I’m the bad egg?
What’s so good about my good twin?
What’s so good about my good twin?
What’s so good about my good twin?
And what’s so bad about me?
He sends thank-you cards, chocolate hearts and roses
And he thinks nobody can see through his poses
I’m adamant even as snakes do slink, though
is he able to cane me? I don’t think so.
As I plot chaos from my dark hangar
He sips his lager in lavish languor
I wanna destroy my doppelganger
(but so does he!)
What’s so good about my good twin?
What’s so good about my good twin?
What’s so good about my good twin?
And what’s so bad about...
What’s so bad about
me?
Written November 1st, 2007.
© 2007, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, lead guitar.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Scales
I’m diving down the street from you
I hit the water and forget what I should do
I swallow chlorine as I say
“I wish these water wings could help me fly away”
Help me see the things I ought to be
Balance the scales on my eyes
Help my mind to quit reminding me
The pool can’t wash away these lies
I’m caked with mud pies, and I scream
Until my throat gives out and I forget to dream
I’m disconnected from this line
I can’t remember, but at least I know it’s mine
Help me see the things I ought to be
Balance the scales on my eyes
Help my mind to quit reminding me
The pool can’t wash away these lies
Now I remember what you said
Now if I just could keep it in my head -
Now I’ve already let it slip
Now I take off my shirt and grab the whip...
I’ve dug about half of this hole
And when it’s finished, I’ll relinquish all control
My shovel is the ace of spades --
It once was black & white, now into grey it fades
Help me see the things I ought to be
Balance the scales on my eyes
Help my mind to quit reminding me
The pool can’t wash away these lies
I need to wash away these lies
I need to wash away these lies
How can I wash away these lies?
Written March 1995.
© 1995, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead and backing vocals, lead guitar.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Under The Overpass
Across the map I turn a chapter in my heart
The page, so brown, leaves me dumbfounded at the start
A time of peace and grand release may never come
I know, but then I need someone
But it’s all too late, untie the hands of fate, my love
The pavement’s broken glass under the overpass, my love
A futile show of faith, I know, but that’s OK
I must believe that I can give and receive myself back anyway
The breeze so bold it cuts with cold through flesh & bone
And all I see is you & me when I’m alone
But it’s all too late, untie the hands of fate, my love
The pavement’s broken glass under the overpass, my love
The river runs, and still the sun will rise & set -
A soothing thought - and I am not forsaken yet
Too many times I draw the lines that hinder me
But now and then I smile within our memory
Is it still too late? Untie the hands of fate, my love,
We could be free at last under the over….
We could be free at last, my love
Written September 1991.
© 1991, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, bass.
Nick Bertling: Drums, guitars, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Worship Song
I'm not a good Christian, that's what my friends say
I could only sing of your love 'til maybe Wednesday
And I don't know,
And I don't know
Why I don't know
What I still don't know,
But I know
That I know
No way without you
Jesus, I'm a dumbass -- please forgive me
Jesus, I'm a dumbass -- I'm so wrong
Jesus, I'm a dumbass -- can you love me?
Jesus, I'm a dumbass -- hear my song
Child, I'm getting bored with all the same-old
Your self-hatred makes your heart and brain cold
You don't know
and you don't know
why you don't know
what you still don't know
But I know
that I know
a heart that's true...
Dumbass, I am Jesus -- I forgive you
Dumbass, I am Jesus -- hear me soon
Dumbass, I am Jesus -- of course I love you
Dumbass, I am Jesus -- change your tune
Written September 11, 2007.
© 2007, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, acoustic and electric guitars.
Nick Bertling: Drums, lead guitar, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals.
Graveyard Shift
In our second-floor apartment, we
hear footsteps as we stumble into bed.
I can hear the graveyard shift above our head.
As I sleeplessly walk to the bar,
machines scream up through grates on this dark street.
I can hear the graveyard shift beneath my feet.
In a cemetery late at night,
I sit and wonder who or what I’ll meet.
I can feel the graveyard shift beneath my feet.
Written July 18-23, 2006.
© 2006, 2021 Dolph Chaney (BMI). All rights reserved.
Dolph Chaney: Lead vocal, guitar.
Nick Bertling: Drums, lead guitar, bass, keyboards, percussion.